Unable to actually meet the sick family member I was suppose to be visiting, I decided to call him and ask him about his thoughts and beliefs on the sick and dying and how his condition either sets him apart from the other people he comes encounter with. He's only 13 years old and I wasn't expecting much insight would be coming from him, but I learned a lot more about him. He suffers from sickle-cell disease which is an inherited blood disorder that affects the red blood cells having difficulty passing through small blood vessels.
Unable to see his condition during this interview, I remembered what he previously looked like and from afar, he looks like what any 13-14 year old would look like. Small T-shirt with jeans fitted into his sneakers and a moderately good haircut. Anyone who didn't know him, wouldn't be able to tell he was sickly and even his attitude towards daily life wouldn't resemble those of a person who would have a disease. Knowing about my cousins condition previous to this interview, I wondered why is he so outgoing and "care free-ish"? Why doesn't this disease hold him back from committing to things normal teens would do? To him, this disease definitely sets him apart from other kids, but if they don't know, it's easier to fit in. His encounter with friends and other people who do know are always people worrying and making sure that hes perfectly fine 24/7. He appreciates that, but it gets annoying and when he meets up with friends from school, he feels like everything goes back to normal. Which is interesting because I would think, if I had sickle-cell disease, knowing that people are taking care of me and making sure I'm fine would be normal, and hanging out with friends is something new every time.
I talked him about what his family thinks and approaches his situation and he replied that his mother always worries about him, which is normal and his older brothers treat him anyway a younger brother should be treated. I asked so how are younger brothers suppose to be treated by their older brother(s) and he replied, "that were the most annoying part of the day, but they still love us and I guess the love with my brothers are shown more in a careful manner just because of my condition." Getting to a more touchy topic, he also mentioned to me that when he starts feeling ill, he tries to hide and fight it himself because he doesn't want to make his mother worrying more than anything because he's the supposed "delicate" one and wants to be shown as "strong" and able to handle any situation. At this point, he starts feeling guilty for what he is, because his mother gets worried and sad and it is because of him. He has accepted his condition, and realizes that there no point is crying over it because it's not going away, so why not make the best out of it? This reminded me of what Morrie use to say in Mitch Albom's, Tuesdays with Morrie, "Dying is only one thing to be sad over. Living unhappily is something else", which implies that being miserable about something that can't be changed doesn't make life any better, and living unhappily is not changing your situation any better and I think this is how my cousin sees it hence his attitude to always moving, playing and fighting with his brothers.
Christian
ReplyDeleteYour post was very insightful. After reading this, i had a clear understanding of what disease your 13 year old relative had as well as how he went about it and felt. From the part about his behavior in school as well as outside of school really provided my thoughts a picture that was very well painted. It is clear your 13 year old relative is strong and your connections to Morries philosophy from tuesdays with Morrie are very relatable and relevant. Other than one or two grammar mistakes this was a very good post.
Harry
So its been a really really long time since I've read and posted on blogger. Its nice being able to read some of the stuff you guys are learning about. I wish we touched on more of this topic of death more. Although it seems as if you guys are discussing more about sickness.
ReplyDeleteThe most eye opening thing about death and sickness I learned from Andy's class is when he asked why dogs are so care free, happy, and always wagging their tails no matter what. I forgot where he got the answer from but it was because dogs do not know they are going to die. It makes me wonder; if I did not know there was such thing as death, would I really care so much about who I am and the character I portray? What do you think?
This boy you interviewed obviously knows he has a severe sickness that can kill him. At least that is what it seems. I do not know much about this sickness this boy has so sorry if I got the wrong interpretation. I have never heard of sickle-cell disease. I liked your questioning about why this kid is so "carefree-ish." I think back about how death and sickness may cause someone to be really uptight and really care about who they are. Its interesting how this boy, on the other hand, is really carefree even knowing that he this disease.
I also really like the point where you stated how this kid realized there is no point in thinking miserably about his life and his disease. Whether you have a sickness or not is it more important to constantly worry about your future and what college or what job will provide the most money? Or is is better to just live carefree and worry free?
I don't mean to keep rambling but I recently visited Dominican Republic with my boyfriend to visit his family. Dominican Republic (especially the part where my boyfriend's family lives) is kind of poor or low class. However my boyfriend and I had a deep discussion about how healthy everyone is despite the poor conditions. We thought maybe it was because of how stress free they are. They do not worry about things we may worry about in New York. They just carry about their day with their local businesses and spending time with family. Do you think this is a good way of living? How would you compare or contrast the values to our own in New York. How do you think this relates to someone with a sickness's perspective of life compared to someone without a sickness's perspective?
Sorry for all the rambling. I'm tired from traveling but I hope this comment helped and was what you were looking for. I'm always glad to do you a favor, especially for Andy's class.
So its been a really really long time since I've read and posted on blogger. Its nice being able to read some of the stuff you guys are learning about. I wish we touched on more of this topic of death more. Although it seems as if you guys are discussing more about sickness.
ReplyDeleteThe most eye opening thing about death and sickness I learned from Andy's class is when he asked why dogs are so care free, happy, and always wagging their tail no matter what. I forgot where he got the answer from but it was because dogs do not know they are going to die. It makes me wonder; if I did not know there was such thing as death would I really care so much about who I am and the character I portray? What do you think?
This boy you interviewed obviously knows he has a severe sickness that can kill him. At least that is what it seems. I do not know much about this sickness this boy has. I have never heard of sickle-cell disease. I liked your questioning about why this kid is so "carefree-ish." I think back about how death and sickness may cause someone to be really uptight and really care about who they are. Its interesting how this boy, on the other hand, is really carefree even knowing that he this disease.
I also really like the point where you stated how this kid realized there is no point in thinking miserably about his life and his disease. Whether you have a sickness or not is it more important to constantly worry about your future and what college or what job will provide the most money? Or is is better to just live carefree and worry free?