Hw - 24 Precis #3

Tuesdays With Morrie By Mitch Albom, Published by Doubleday, Sept. 1997
3/3rd of the book: The world, I discovered was not at all interested in me, neither was I to it. For a few years after I graduated from college, I wandered looking for a job and paying rent and finally landing a job as a columnist in the Detroit Free Press. I buried myself in accomplishments and relished in what I was doing, because with accomplishments, I believed I could control anything. I thought about my Professor time to time about what he use to say to me, "about being human and relating to others", but thinking like this would distant me from what my current life is already like. I had found out that the professor who taught me these things had become ill and I made it my duty to visit him before he passes. My visits with Morrie became more frequent since the loss of my job. Every Tuesday we have sessions where we talk about life, love, death and much more meaningful things that I was previously lacking. Morrie is visibly getting more ill, and he's well aware of it, but with each passing day I learn a little bit more about myself through him and his insights on the progressions of living verses death. Every Tuesday that has gone by so far, has been about the external and internal values of life such as our culture or our marriages or our views on death itself. Morrie's days are closing in and the more his time is shortened here, the more accepting he is of death. He says that he never hoped that his illness could be cured because he has now become a completely different self and there would be no point in returning to my old self; "one because I can't get any younger either" he says jokingly. My lasts encounter with Morrie was my most emotional because of the changed being I had become, Morrie laid there in his bed, tired and sickly and manages to say to me that I am his friend and that he loves me and I return the favor by giving him my last farewell kiss and we both cried. Morrie's funeral gathering was small and purposeful because he did not want his family to be hurt by the passing of him and I was told to talk to him at his grave site which I did, which almost felt natural to do.

Quotes: "As you grow old, you learn more. If you stayed at twenty-two, you'd always be as ignorant as you were at twenty-two. Aging is not just decay, you know. It's growth. It's more than the negative that you're going to die, its also the positive that you understand you're going to die, and that you live a better life because of it."(p.118) Basically to stay at one pace won't get you where your going any faster or any slower, aging is accelerating your depth of insights and experience but gradually meeting the finish line that ends this process.
"Forgive yourself before you die. Then forgive others."(p.166) Forgiving others before you forgive yourself is one not accepting ones self and not truly forgiving the person whom may have been offended. We have a tendency to forgive others and not ourselves building on regrets that forever keep building because we don't want to forgive ourselves for things we should have done or what should of happened.
"Death ends a life, not a relationship." (174) Even though a passing of an individual may seem like your connection with them is over, but it's not. Their impact on your life is what stays with you forever, therefore not really ending a relationship, but just the physical aspect of it.

Insights/Thoughts: All together this book really walked me through some important interpretations and perceptions of love, death and life using specific examples to evolve the level of insights and experiences to become weirdly relatable. One thing I really took out of this book was that no matter what our position is in life, is really to take it in stride and make the best out of it, because each new day is a brand new experience furthermore developing our own understandings of things around us. We may feel vulnerable at times, especially around those we care about, but if we are to just accept this feeling and conquer it, the result is lifting because we are able to feel more comfortable around it.

HW - 23 Precis #2

Tuesdays With Morrie By Mitch Albom, Published by Doubleday, Sept. 1997
2/3rd of the book: I have grown close to my professor in these past sessions with him. Even with the lost of my job, I have found more time to truly collect myself as a person because I realize there is more to life than a lot of the materialistic things that had taken over my life previously. Morrie is getting sicker, I can see it in him, and I'm sure he is well aware of it, but each passing day I learn a little bit more about myself as I learn more about the progressions in living verses death.

Quotes: "Sometimes you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel. And if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them too."(p.61) Mitch's difficulty to give in and embrace the surroundings is described by Morrie's perception of Mitch's personal life. In order for him to accept the life he lives in, he must accept and trust the ones around him first.
"Once you learn how to die, you learn how to live." (p.82) Morrie's adventure has shaped to him to truly understand that the fascination in his life, is much more clear since his encounter and now progression in being ill.
"If you don't have the support and love and caring and concern that you get from a family, you don't have much at all. Love is so supremely important."(p.91) Morrie's understanding of acknowledging that without his family, dealing with his conditions would be much harder, and that the family that he has provides a sense of security and safety.

Insights/Thoughts: I realized that one of the major themes in this book has become the power of trust and love. Morrie's ability to recognize the love of his family provides more of a "spiritual security"(p.92) since he had become ill and trusting the ones around him, gaining more from them then if he was to not trust them at all. My relation with my Grandparents are similarly presented, because I put just as much as love and interest into them as I would do for Morrie in Mitch's situation. Trusting my Grandparents and believing in them has proven to be more insightful to if I didn't talk to them at all.

Hw - 22 Precis #1

Tuesdays With Morrie By Mitch Albom, Published by Doubleday, Sept. 1997
Pages 3-54: I miss my dear professor, it's a shame I did not keep in contact with him all these years. In fact I didn't keep in contact with anyone after my college years. The world, I discovered was not all interested in me, and neither was I to it. For a few years I wandered looking for a job, getting a job and paying rent. Eventually I got a job as a columnist in the Detroit Free Press. I buried myself in accomplishments because with accomplishments, I believed I could control things, I thought about my professor and what he use to tell me, " about being human and relating to others", but thinking about this was distant to what my life was like already. I saw Morrie while flicking through TV channels to figure out that he had become ill and I went numb. I must visit him before he passes. My visit with Morrie was brief because I had to return to work in a couple of days, but from what I got out if it, reminded me of my college days where I found life much more interesting.

Quotes:"You know that I'm dying. I've become much more interesting to people...People see me as a bridge. I'm not as alive as I used to be, but I'm not yet dead. I'm sort of in-between."(p.33) Morrie's understanding of accepting death and becoming a teacher to those around him, has become an apparent factor for those who want to understand the meaning behind illness and dying. "Dying is only one thing to be sad over. Living unhappily is something else."(p.35) Mitch's issue with being miserable about how his life has turned up is nothing in comparison to know that you will have to die in the future. So live your life happily because the worst has not come yet."Well, for one thing, the culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves. We're teaching the wrong things. And you have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn't work, don't buy it. Create your own."(p.35) The culture we live in puts a lot more attention on materialistic things that provide a superficial feeling of happiness because it satisfies our wants and needs, but it's a constantly changing system of wants and needs, so one stresses themselves in trying to get the new thing every time. "The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning."(p.43) Enjoying what your doing is much better then doing what someone wants you to do because it's a unique purpose and meaning you have created on your own, and by creating it, the community around you may take better notice to it.

Insights/Thoughts: Reading these amount of pages in Tuesdays With Morrie has provided a deeper understanding of the meaning of life around the thought of death. Morrie's experience with being ill and dying is interesting because he has made the decision to accept it and make the best out of it. On top of making the best out of it, he has made himself a teacher to those who want to know the meaning behind dying.

HW - 21 Post Comments #1

To Harry:

Harry,

In your blog post, you gave examples of similar experiences that was presented by Beth describing the death of her husband. Something that struck in me in your blog was how you wanted to know how you would handle illness and dying now because of Beth's presentation. I'm curious as to why "now" after hearing Beth's presentation put you in a mindset of "what if" this happened to me, then what would I do? For me, since Beth's presentation I feel that I would still handle dying and illness the way I wanted too("I'm not sure what way that is"), but it would be a secondary source to how I could possibly react to news like I was to die or become very ill.
Brief note once your finish doing your blog for the future, if you could re-read and clear up any mistakes and order of thought.

Insightful Post!
Christian

To Dean:

Dean,

Your insights and experiences similarly relate to Beth's insights and experiences but if you could explain how these experiences and insights made you feel, it would deepen your understanding and make your blog post longer. For example, you explained that "you will better understand how she was feeling and what she was talking about", but what about her talking struck you personally and why, and if it didn't, why don't you think it did and further explain. During Beth's presentation, she said she had become comfortable talking to crowds about the death of her husband which helped her cope with her feelings and one could assume that this could be a reason why she did not tear up in front of us. I, for one, am not comfortable talking to people about the death of someone I knew only because it is such a sensitive topic, but when I do, I feel better because it feels like I got something off my chest.

Good Post!
Christian

Hw - 21 Expert #1

Beth Bernett
Insights & Experiences:

• Health Insurance was tough to come by since they were both Artist.
• After finding out that her Husband was diagnosed with Cancer, she didn't want to hear about how things were usually done on TV.
• Limited option is what could now be done in a normal day.
• Mobility issue.
• "When you get sick enough; Dignity goes out the window."
• Family getting together during the time of Beth's husband getting ill.

Hearing the insights and experiences Beth Bernett went through when she was with her husband made a lot more sense with the insights and experiences that I thought would happen. One of my insights were, that when one gets sick, a lot of the normal things start to end. During the time Beth's husband was suffering from cancer, gradually, the normal habits started to end because of how ill he was getting. Beth brought my insights further based on her experience because when some of the normal habits were stopped, her husband had to learn to cope with it and based on his "out-going" personality, it affected him a lot. Each individual that suffers from an overbearing illness has to learn either to cope or "heroically" want to fight it off because of this sense of dignity that they still want to hold on too. Which is another thing Beth mentioned when it came to the point where her husband had to accept loosing his dignity based on how much his illness was putting him through.

Another thing that struck me was the all to well "get together" when one family member gets ill and everyone gets much closer. When my aunt was diagnosed with breast cancer, everyone in the family came to her aid immediately because we wanted to show her we cared about her. Usually these get together go two ways, the individual who's ill decides whether or not they want to be around family when there dying, or completely close them off because they don't want them to be hurt. Its two very interesting choices that really depends on how that individual feels and for my aunt she chose to keep quiet, I still don't know much about her condition to this day. Beth, as well when her husband was very ill, it was more of a decision to have the family know, but keep contact with people limited only because this sense of hurting people was apparent.

During Beth's presentation to our class, I started to realize that a hospital curtains the ugly and the beauty of dying. If Beth and her husband didn't ask straight up about her husband's condition, a lot of what doctors were saying would be the "heroic" type of things that are said in movies and TV. Which is not as much of a big problem because of how sensitive illness and dying is of a topic. Usually coating the truth about something traumatic could do someone good because it might be unbearable for those who couldn't handle something like hearing they were going to die, or you have this much amount of time left in this world, etc.

Hw - 19 Family Perspective on Illness and Dying

Both of my parents had interesting insights on their perspectives of illness and dying which probably would have not been shared if it wasn't for this blog post, because in our family we did not talk about this kind of topic. What I found interesting coming from my mom was that, her mother never talked about illness and dying to her as she has also done to me as well because it should be a innate emotion to show care and concern about the sick and dying. Her quote was "if you are a rational human being, you should know how to provide care for the sick and dying; only irrational people would not know what to do." During our conversation this quote stuck with me the most because before talking to my mom about illness and dying, I had already known to show care and concern to the sick but I never talked about it with my mom nor dad. My mom also talked about showing unconditional love and getting the sick and dying out of gloominess to help them better deal with their situation. She gave an example that before her father had passed, he was very sick and when we visited him, he was in his room, laying in bed with the lights dimly lit and when he saw us, he brightened up. He felt happier.

We should always show empathy to those of the sick and dying do what ever we could do to make their lives more memorable which is what my dad shared with me. One of my dad's co workers who was diagnosed with cancer, they had set up a dinner for her and during that dinner my dad said that all he wanted to do was to make her feel included and try his best to not have her feel bad about her condition. He also was not taught by his parents about the ill and dying and how to approach it because it was something you should already know what to do if you were a rational human being. One of my questions I had for both my parents was since you think rational human beings should know to provide care and concern, how does our society fair with dealing with the sick and dying? My mom quickly replied with, "well if you believe society is rational then we should be able to express similarly the same thought about the sick and dying. "

Hearing from both of my parents about illness and dying helped me formulate where I stood upon approaching illness and dying because in someways I relate to them because their parents never really talked to them about this topic, but they knew what to do when it came to dealing with it. As for me, I feel like I know how I should present myself in the face of someone who is sick or dying because of the straight forward solutions there are to dealing with this kind of topic. We provide care and concern, we make sure they feel included, we try to make them happier, all things to help that sick and dying person avoid their current situation.